A friend of mine had an epiphany recently. He dolefully claims he now knows he’s a codger. He’s a smart guy who’s picking up on the hints; knee replacement, triple bypass …the mirror in his bathroom.
Good for him for being so perceptive.
What about the rest of us? How will we know when codgerdom assumes control?
I see all these surveys on Facebook and what they promise to tell me about myself. No disrespect, but I don’ need no stinkin’ surveys, especially ones powered by my birth month and the first letter of my second dog’s name.
I can make my own survey.
Here is a Lexington Geezer Survey and I invite you to take it. If you do, I’ll be happy to evaluate your response using the same scientific protocols currently being used to determine charge/blocking calls in college basketball – I’ll guess wildly.
Be honest now…because…well…why not?
Also feel very free to relate stories, rationales, and/or pertinent limericks to enhance your response.
Seriously, you don’t really have to be honest about this nonsense…because…well…who cares? And nobody’s fact-checking.
Lexington Geezers, here’s your chance to demonstrate if you’re a real “Nighthawk Special” or merely a “Tabletopper” (extra credit for understanding those references).
- Just to get it out of the way right away and establish a base line; choose – Ginger or Mary Ann?
- It’s 2am Sunday morning and you’ve dropped off your date; choose – Jerry’s on North Broadway or Southland Drive?
- More nuanced questions; choose – Warner Oland or Sidney Toler? Sean Connery or Daniel Craig?
- The Ben Ali or the Strand? (You’ll get some credit for even understanding the question.)
- The best Felix Leiter; choose – Norman Burton, Bernie Casey, David Hedison, Cec Linder, Jack Lord, Rik Van Nutter, or Jeffrey Wright? Good grief!
- Did you ever attempt the “Steak for Two” at Columbia’s by yourself? How many drinks do you remember having had that evening?
- The best Bond girl; choose – Ursula Andress, Daniela Bianchi, or Ursula Andress…or Ursula Andress?
- Artie Kay or Billy Love?
- The Torqués, the Mag 7…or…the Mercy Men?
- And for more extra credit – a) Did you ever get a 9-cent banana split from those balloons at Woolworth’s? And b) Do you think they really existed? If you answered yes to “a”, I hate you. If you answered yes to “b”, I have a bridge I’d like sell you.
Knock yourself out!
Or should I say; “Sock it to me!”