Jake

Jake might have been the finest dog I never met.

There are so many amazing dogs I’ve never met;

I have great admiration for the feats of Rin Tin Tin, Lassie, Sergeant Preston’s King, Flash the parachuting dog in The Flaming Signal (1933), and Smokey & Shadow the faster-than-a-speeding-bullet Alsatians in Sign of the Wolf (1941).

I empathize with Nick & Nora’s Asta, Frasier’s Eddie, and Red’s Rover…they have to endure much and they endure it with good humor.

I root for Lady’s Tramp (successfully) and Ol’ Yeller (not so successfully).

I fret over the uncertain fate of Flic and Umberto D. (rip yer heart and show it to you before you die).

I laugh out loud at Goofy, Pluto, and Odie.

Benji, the Shaggy Dog, and all 101 of those Dalmatians…well, maybe not so much…but they’re cute, I guess.

But they’re not real dogs. I mean some of them are real dogs, but none of them are REAL DOGS.

<< side note >>

Didja know that the Shaggy Dog was played (uncredited) by a dog named “Chiffon”? Chiffon needed a better agent.

<< end of side note >>

I think Jake was a real dog

Jake belonged to a friend of mine who doesn’t live in Lexington. She posted pictures and escapades and gripes about Jake for several years. Through her postings I felt like I knew the critter and he was a fine one.

I knew of his dietary lack of discrimination. “If I can chew it and pass it, it’s food.”

I knew of his utter and violent defiance of screen doors. This stemmed from his belief that if aliens (or Russians) wanted to infiltrate our country, they would come disguised as screen doors.

I recognized (from afar…far far afar) his olfactory ability to locate patches of otherwise unidentifiable dead things (Charnel No. 5), and roll with vigor, applying them liberally until said olfactory abilities had been obliterated.

Now that is a REAL DOG.
That is a dog’s dog.
I’m a fan.

We need real dogs right now to take us out of ourselves for a bit and away from TV news for a bit and away from infiltrating screen doors disguised as presidents for…ever.

We need real dogs right now to fret over, instead of whether the next box of cereal might kill us. We also need elected officials that give us real facts and real comfort…and that actually seem to care about real people.

In Kentucky, we seem to have a governor matches that description. Check.

And we have each other. Check.

And we have our fine dogs. Check.

Jake was one fine dog. There’s not much better to be.
And I never even met the guy.
Sigh…

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